In the past few weeks, I have had conversations with women my age who are caught in a societal dilemma: being single in retirement vs. marrying someone for companionship.
With the divorce rate what it is and the incidence of divorce after the age of 60 (dubbed the “graying divorce”), women are rethinking the basis of marriage. Should we marry just to have someone to travel with, someone to bring to family events, someone to be there in sickness and disability, someone to share the pain of loss of friends and family members, someone to share the costs of retirement living?
Or do we hold our heads up and proudly declare our financial independence and say companionship is all I need or want? Or not even that?
As I wrote in my book, Power of The Purse, my step-mother-in-law told me women of her age would never remarry since all a man wants at that age (75+) is either a “purse or a nurse.” As funny as that is, there is some truth to that. Women who have been caregivers to a spouse whose final illness was very emotionally and physically taxing are not looking to get back into a marriage where that may happen again. They relish their freedom.
There is no answer to this question. Only time to reflect on how our generation and our personal wealth have changed the dynamic for how to age. Choices our mothers never had make that decision all the more perplexing.
As always if we can help in designing a life in retirement you will love (with our without a spouse or significant other), please contact us. We’d be very happy to help, or at the very least, just to listen.
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